I always wonder how magical would feel like to float with no flesh, no bones, not being trapped in a body. Existing just like a wanderer entity.
Most of the days, I look at myself and I do not recognize me. I look at my visage, gently touch my lips, my nose. I stare at my eyes. I taste my warm tears. But I do not recognize me. Not at all. I just can’t recognize myself in my own body, I feel like it is not the true or right rappresentation of my soul. And it saddens me, and I want to scream scream scream and rip out my own flesh, the whole physical “me” which I just can’t identify. I feel like to have a body will eternally feels odd to me, it will forever be unfair and wrong.
But if I’m writing this now, if I’m opening my heart in this moment is because I want to accept it, to feel it as my own shell, not as a cage. To love and cherish it . I want to recognize my whole external being and adore it every moment of my life. And while I’m typing this I slowly understand what a precious experience can be to have a body,so special and delightful, almost divine . You’re so used to your own features somedays you just can’t accept them. But they’re your own features, only yours, living in your special and unique body and they are worthy, they are you and they are sublime and I swear I’m going to adore them for my eternity.